ACT TWO
PHARAOH STORY
Narrator:
Pharaoh, he was a powerful man
With the ancient world
In the palm of his hand
To all intents and purposes, he
Was Egypt with a capital E
Whatever he did
He was showered with praise
If he cracked a joke
Then you chortled for days
No one had rights or a
Vote but the king
In fact you might say
He was fairly right-wing
When Pharaoh's around,
Then you get down on the ground
If you ever find yourself near Ramases
Get down on your knees
Handmaidens, Children's Choir:
A Pharaoh story
A Pharaoh story
A Pharaoh story
A Pharaoh story
Narrator:
Down at the other
End of the scale
Joseph is still
Doing time in jail
For even though he is
In with the guards
A lifetime in prison
Seems quite on the cards
But if my analysis of
The position is right
At the end of the tunnel
There's a glimmer of light
For all of a sudden there's been
Visions and things
Disturbing the sleep
Of both peasants and kings
Strange as it seems
There's been a run of crazy dreams
And a man who can interpret
Could go far
Could become a star
Handmaidens, Children's Choir:
Could be famous
Could be a big success
Could be famous
Could be a big success
Narrator:
Strange as it seems
There's been a run of crazy dreams
And a man who can interpret
Could go far
Could become a star
Handmaidens, Children's Choir:
Could be famous
Could be a big success
Could be famous
Could be a big success
Narrator, Handmaidens, Children's Choir:
Strange as it seems
There's been a run of crazy dreams
And a man who can interpret
Could go far
Could become a star
Narrator:
Could be a star
POOR, POOR PHARAOH
Narrator:
Guess what?
In his bed
Pharaoh had an uneasy night
He had had a dream that pinned him
To his sheets with fright
No-one knew the meaning of this dream
What to do, whatever could it mean
Then his butler said
Butler:
I know of a bloke in jail
Who is hot on dreams
Could explain old Pharaoh's tale
Narrator:
Pharaoh said
Pharaoh:
Fetch this Joseph man I need him to help me if he can
Narrator, Children's Choir:
Poor, poor Pharaoh
What'cha gonna do?
Dreams are haunting you, hey
What'cha gonna do?
Narrator:
Chained and bound, afraid, alone
Joseph stood before the throne
Joseph:
My service to Pharaoh has begun
Tell me your problems, mighty one
SONG OF THE KING
Pharaoh, Handmaidens, Male Voices, Children's Choir:
Well I was wandering along the banks of the river
When seven fat cows came out of the Nile, u-huh-huh
And right behind these fine healthy animals came
Seven other cows, skinny and vile, uh-huh-huh
Well the thin cows ate the fat cows which I
Thought would do them good, uh-huh-huh
But it didn't make them fatter like such
A monster supper should
Well the thin cows were as thin
As they had ever, ever, ever been
Well this dream has got me baffled
Hey, Joseph, won't you tell me what it means?
Well you know that kings ain't stupid
But I don't have a clue
So don't be cruel Joseph
Help me I beg of you
Well I was standing doing nothing in a field out of town
When I saw seven beautiful ears of corn, uh-huh-huh
They were ripe, they were golden and
You've guessed it,
Right behind them came seven other ears
Tattered and torn, uh-huh-huh
Well the bad corn ate the good corn
They came up from behind yes they did
Now Joseph here's the punch line
It's really gonna blow your mind
Well the bad corn was as bad as it had ever, ever ever been
Well this dream has got me all shook up
Treat me nice and tell me what it means
Hey, hey, hey Joseph
Won't you tell poor old Pharaoh
What does this crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy dream mean?
Oh, yeah
PHARAOH'S DREAM EXPLAINED
Joseph:
Seven years of bumper crops are on their way
Years of plenty, endless wheat and tons of hay
Your farms will boom, there won't be room
To store the surplus food you grow
After that, the future doesn't look so bright
Egypt's luck will change completely overnight
And famine's hand will stalk the land
With food an all-time low
Noble king, there is no doubt
What your dream is all about
Joseph, Children's Choir:
All these things you saw in your pyjamas
Are a long range forecast for your farmers
Joseph:
And I'm sure it's crossed your mind
What it is you have to find
Find a man to lead you through the famine
With a flair for economic planning
But who this man could be I just don't know
Handmaidens, Male Voices, Children's Choir:
Who this man could be I just don't know
Who this man could be I just don't know
Who this man could be I just don't know
I just don't - Jo!
STONE THE CROWS
Narrator:
Pharaoh said
Pharaoh:
Well stone the crows
This Joseph is a clever kid
Who'd have thought that fourteen cows
Could mean the things he said they did?
Joseph, you must help me further
I have found a job for you
You shall lead us through this crisis
You shall be my number two
Narrator, Handmaidens, Children's Choir:
Pharaoh told his guards to fetch
A chisel from the local store
Whereupon he ordered them
To cut the chains that Joseph wore
Joseph got a royal pardon
And a host of splendid things
A chariot of gold, a cloak
A medal and some signet rings
Narrator:
Joseph
Children's Choir:
Joseph
Narrator:
Pharaoh's number two
Joseph
Children's Choir:
Joseph
Narrator:
Egypt looks to you
Narrator, Handmaidens, Children's Choir:
Seven summers on the trot
Were perfect just as Joseph said
Joseph saw that food was gathered
Ready for the years ahead
Seven years of famine followed
Egypt didn't mind a bit
The first recorded rationing
In history was a hit
Handmaidens, Children's Choir:
Joseph how can we ever say
All that we want to about you
We're so glad that you came our way
We would have perished without you
Pharaoh:
Joseph we are the perfect team
Old buddies, that's you and me
I was wise to have chosen you
You'll be wise to agree
Handmaidens, Children's Choir:
Joseph how can we ever say
All that we want to about you
We're so glad that you came our way
We would have perished without you
Pharaoh:
We were in a jam
Would have baffled Abraham
But now we're a partnership
It's just a piece of cake
Handmaidens, Children's Choir:
Greatest man since Noah
Only goes to shoah
Joseph:
Anyone from anywhere can make it
If they get a lucky break
Narrator:
This could be a happy ending
Perfect place to stop the show
Joseph after all has gone
About as far as he can go
But I'm sure that Jacob and
His other sons have crossed your mind
How had famine hit the family Joseph left behind?
THOSE CANAAN DAYS
One Brother:
Do you remember the good years in Canaan?
The summers were endlessly gold
The fields were a patchwork of clover
The winters were never too cold
We strolled down the boulevard together
And ev'rything round us was fine
Jacob:
Now the fields are dead and bare
No joie de vivre anywhere
Et maintenant we drink a bitter wine
Brothers:
Those Canaan days we used to know
Where have they gone, where did they go?
Eh bien, raise your berets
To those Canaan days
One Brother:
Do you remember those wonderful parties?
The splendour of Canaan's cuisine
Our extravagant, elegant soirees
The gayest the Bible has seen
It's funny but since we lost Joseph
We've gone to the other extreme
One Brother:
No-one comes to dinner now
Brothers, Handmaidens:
We'd only eat them anyhow
We even find we're missing Joseph's dreams
Those Canaan days we used to know
Where have they gone, where did they go?
Eh bien, raise your berets
To those Canaan days
One Brother:
It's funny but since we lost Joseph
We've gone to the other extreme
Perhaps we all misjudged the lad
Perhaps he wasn't quite that bad
Brothers:
And how we miss his entertaining dreams
Those Canaan days we used to know
Where have they gone, where did they go?
Eh bien, raise your berets
To those Canaan days
Eh bien, raise your berets
To those Canaan days
THE BROTHERS COME TO EGYPT/GROVEL, GROVEL
Narrator:
So back in Canaan the future looked rough
Jacob's family were finding it tough
Brothers:
For the famine has caught us unprepared
We are thin, we are ill, we are getting scared
It's enough to make anyone weep
We are down to our very last sheep
We will starve if we hang around here
And in Egypt there's food going spare
They've got corn, they've got meat
They've got fruit and drinks
And if we have the time we could see the Sphinx
Narrator and Children's Choir:
So they fin'lly decided to go
Off to Egypt to see brother Jo
They all lay before Joseph's feet
Brothers:
Mighty prince give us something to eat
Narrator, Children's Choir:
Joseph found it a strain not to laugh because
Not a brother among them knew who he was
Joseph:
I shall now take them all for a ride
After all they have tried fratricide
I dreamed that in the fields one day
The corn gave me a sign
Your eleven sheaves of corn
All turned and bowed to mine
I dreamed I saw eleven stars
The sun the moon and sky
Bowing down before my star,
And now I realise why
How do I know where you come from?
You could be spies
Telling me that you are hungry.
That could be lies
How do I know who you are?
Why do you think I should help you?
Would you help me?
Why on earth should I believe you?
I've no guarantee
Brothers, Narrator, Handmaidens, Children's Choir:
Grovel, grovel, cringe, bow, stoop, fall
Worship, worship, beg, kneel, sponge, crawl
Brothers:
We are just eleven brothers
Good men and true
Though we know we count for nothing
When up next to you
Honesty's our middle name
Life is slowly ebbing from us
Hope's almost gone
It's getting very hard to see us
From sideways on
Brothers, Narrator, Handmaidens, Children's Choir:
Grovel, grovel, cringe, bow, stoop, fall
Worship, worship, beg, kneel, sponge, crawl
Joseph:
I rather like the way you're talking
Astute and sincere
Suddenly your tragic story
It gets me right here
Brothers:
This is what we hoped you'd say
Joseph:
All this tugging at my heartstrings
Seems quite justified
I shall give you what you came for
And lots more beside
Brothers, Narrator, Handmaidens, Children's Choir:
Grovel, grovel, cringe, bow, stoop, fall
Worship, worship, beg, kneel, sponge, crawl
Brothers:
Thank you, thank you, cringe, bow, stoop, fall
Worship, worship, beg, kneel, sponge, crawl
Narrator:
Joseph handed them sackloads of food
And they grovelled in base gratitude
Narrator, Children's Choir:
Then unseen, Joseph nipped out around the back
And planted a cup in young Benjamin's sack
Narrator:
When the brothers were ready to go
Joseph turned to them all
With a terrible stare and said
Joseph, Children's Choir:
No No No No No
WHO'S THE THIEF?
Joseph:
Stop, you robbers
Your little number's up
One of you has stolen
My precious golden cup
Narrator:
Joseph started searching
Through his brothers' sacks
Everyone was nervous
No-one could relax
Children's Choir:
Who's the thief?
Who's the thief?
Who's the thief?
Who's the thief?
Narrator, Children's Choir:
Is it Reuben? No
Is it Simeon? No
Is it Napthali? No
Is it Dan? No
Is it Asher? No
Is it Isaachar? No
Is it Levi? No
Who's the man?
Is it Zebulun? No
Is it Gad? No
Is it Judah? No
Is it him?
Children's Choir:
Could it be, could it be
Could it be, could it be
Could it be, could it be
Narrator:
Could it possibly be Benjamin?
Children:
Yes Yes Yes!
Joseph:
Benjamin, you nasty youth
Your crime has shocked me to the core
Never in my whole career
Have I encountered this before
Guards, seize him!
Lock him in a cell
Throw the keys into the Nile as well!
Narrator, Children's Choir:
Each of the brothers fell to his knees
Brothers:
Show him some mercy, oh mighty one, please
He would not do this, he must have been framed
Jail us and beat us, we should blamed
Children's Choir:
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
BENJAMIN CALYPSO
Brothers:
Oh no - not he
How you can accuse him is a mystery
Save him - take me
Benjamin is straighter dan de tall palm tree
Judah:
I hear de steel drums sing dere song
Dey're singin' man you know you got it wrong
I hear de voice of de yellow bird
Singin' in de tree dis is quite absurd
Judah, Brothers:
Oh, yes - its true
Benjamin is straighter dan de big bamboo
No ifs
No buts
Benjamin is honest as coconuts
Judah:
Sure as de tide wash de golden sand
Benjamin is an innocent man
Sure as bananas need de sun
We are de criminal guilty ones
Judah, Brothers, Handmaidens, Children's Choir:
Oh no - not he
How you can accuse him is a mystery
Save him - take me
Benjamin is straighter dan de tall palm tree
Oh no - not he
How you can accuse him is a mystery
Save him - take me
Benjamin is straighter dan de tall palm tree
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la
JOSEPH ALL THE TIME
Narrator:
Joseph knew by this his brothers now were honest men
The time had come at last to reunite them all again
Joseph:
Can't you recognise my face?
Is it hard to see
That Joseph who you thought was dead, your brother
Is me
Brothers, Handmaidens, Narrator, Children's Choir:
Joseph, Joseph, is it really true?
Joseph, Joseph, is it really you?
Narrator, Brothers, Handmaidens, Children's Choir:
Joseph, Joseph
JACOB IN EGYPT
Whole Company:
So Jacob came to Egypt
No longer feeling old
And Joseph came to meet him
In his chariot of Gold
Of Gold
Of Gold
Of Gold
Click to go back to Lyric Titles